


Can You Stay?

by LuckyAngevil



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Atsumu doesn't deserve this, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Cheating, Denial of Feelings, Drinking to Cope, Feelings Realization, Getting Back Together, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, I love them both, I swear, M/M, Miya Atsumu Needs a Hug, Moving On, Not beta read we die like Humans, Sad Miya Atsumu, Sakusa Does But You'll Still pity The Idiot, Sakusa Is An Asshole, Sakusa Kiyoomi is Bad at Feelings, Sakusa Needs a Hug, Toxic Relationship, help me:'), i have no clue how to tag, sad sakusa kiyoomi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29382855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyAngevil/pseuds/LuckyAngevil
Summary: Atsumu loved Sakusa for so long. He loved him through middle school. He dated him for most of high school. He was engaged to him shortly after college. He had loved him every moment they spent together. And he knew that Sakusa never loved Atsumu as much as he loved him.Really, it shouldn't be surprising that Sakusa had cheated on him.It didn't make it hurt any less.
Relationships: Iizuna Tsukasa & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Iizuna Tsukasa/Komori Motoya, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Komori Motoya & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Oikawa Tooru, Miya Atsumu & Suna Rintarou, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 69





	1. When did it all change?

**Author's Note:**

> Listen listen LISTEN  
> This is my first fanfiction and I don't expect it to be great so neither should you. Doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to hear your thoughts!  
> The characters may differ grealy from their original character and that's slightly on prupose so that it fits my story.

Atsumu felt a bit numb.

No, scratch that. He felt completely numb. He felt as though his body was floating in an abyss, his mind slowly drifting away from reality. What was he doing again...?

"-sumu, are you alright?"

Astumu blinked as he came back to reality. He looked up from the ground to meet the worried eyes of his brother and his husband. Ah right, Suna and Osamu had come to show him the picture.

Atsumu gave his twin a tight smile, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little surprised, I guess. So stop worrying your giant head over this."

Osamu frowned at him, "This isn't like you, Tsumu..."

Atsumu smiled again, "Some things change lil' bro."

Osamu continued to frown while Suna just stared at him with that damn look in his eyes. like he was looking through you and uncovering every little secret that you have. Atsumu felt exposed under his gaze and was about to make a sarcastic comment about it. 

But then he said something that made Atsumu freeze.

"You already knew about this, didn't you Atsumu?"

Osamu eyes widened as he stared at his Husband for moment before he turning to Atsumu so fast that Atsumu was almost sure that his neck must have be aching right then.

"You knew?!"

Atsumu opened his mouth, ready to spout out another lie like he always does whenever it came to these confrontations. But as he looked his brother in the eyes, he lost all the words. Instead, his gaze fell to the floor once again.

"Atsumu, tell me this isn't true. Tell me that you didn't know about this."

He continued to stare at the marble floor of his home, refusing to meet Osamu's eyes.

"'Tsumu, please! It's a yes or no question. Tell me whether you already knew that bastard's secret-"

Atsumu managed to find his voice when he said that, "Don't call him that!"

Osamu looked at him with shock in his eyes. "...are you kidding me? Even after knowing what he's done, you still wanna defend him?!"

"Of course I do, he's my fiance!"

"Your so called 'fiance' cheated on you!"

The younger of the two shoved the phone he had in his hand at Atsumu's face, the picture of a man with curly black hair with a brunette sitting on his lap as they kissed visible on the screen, "He's been doing so for months!"

"I know that!" Atsumu nearly screamed. "I know..."

"Then why do you keep making excuses for him?!"

"Because I love him, 'Samu!" Atsumu's eyes were desperate, tears were running down his face.

His arms fell flat at his sides, his fists clenched he looked away.

"I love him so much, it hurts. It doesn't matter if he doesn't love me anymore. I love him and that's all that counts."

Osamu's frown persisted, "That's not how relationships work, Atsumu."

"Well, it's how ours does!" Atsumu argued

Osamu was silent for a minute before he gently pulled Atsumu towards him and wrapped him in his arms. He softly nudged Atsumu face to rest on his shoulder.

"Atsumu, he's doesn't love you. He never did."

Atsumu wanted to pull away. Wanted to scream at them, tell them that that photo was fake and that Kiyoomi loved him.

But all that he could let out at that moment was broken sobs and clutched his brother tight, melting into the hug.

"I know..."

**When did everything change?**


	2. Was I ever enough?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Kiyoomi, please be honest..."
> 
> "Was I ever enough?"

"Hey, your phone's ringing."

"So?"

"Shouldn't you, y'know. Answer it?"

"It's probably not important."

Sakusa leaned in again, but a hand on his chest pushed him back.

"Just answer the phone. It's getting annoying."

Sakusa rolled his eyes but relented. He pushed the stranger he had just met off his lap and reached for his phone.

When he saw saw the contact name that glowed on his phone's screen, his annoyance doubled. It was his fiancé. His soon-to-be husband. 

Atsumu was calling him.

Groaning from the headache he knew he was going to get from the oncoming conversation, he swiped up and answered the phone.

"What?" he said in an annoyed tone of voice.

 _"Hey Omi..."_ Atsumu said. But Sakusa noticed something was different about the way he had answered. Usually when he answered the phone, he would talk in this way that annoyed Sakusa to the core, as though he was the smoothest bastard to ever live on the planet.

Now, he just sounds...

Pathetic.

But Sakusa wasn't in the mood to decode what the whiny brat was sulking about today. He was always sulking about the most trivial of things and he most certainly wasn't in the mood to deal with any of his bullshit today.

"What do you want right now? I told you that I was going to be working out late today."

From the corner of his eyes, he saw that the man that he was making out with a minute ago look at him with wide eyes before he walked away, disgust evident in his eyes.

Whatever, he could find another person to spend the night with. It wasn't like it was that hard. He had been stressed out all week and just needed to let it all out at once. Preferably, in the bedroom inside of someone

 _"Ah... sorry about that Omi-kun. I just had to ask you something?"_ Atsumu said in a shaking voice. It for some reason made Sakusa's chest hurt. He ignored the pain in his chest and focused on getting this conversation over with.

"Then spit it out already. I don't have any time to waste for your bullshit."

It was silent on the other line for a second before he heard Atsumu take a deep breath and then let it out.

_"Hey Omi-kun, do you love me?"_

...

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? You called me just to ask that?"

_"You haven't answered my question yet, Omi."_

Sakusa sighed in annoyance, "Yes, I do. Now will you leave me alone."

_"Do you truly love me?"_

Sakusa was losing his patience. Was Atsumu fucking kidding him right now?

"Are you fuc-"

_"Answer the question, Sakusa."_

...what.

"..Of course I do, Atsumu. I wouldn't be engaged to you if I didn't."

_"Then tell me, Omi-kun..."_

Sakusa realized that what he thought was Atsumu's voice echoing was two different sound. One was coming from the phone while the other was coming from the room itself and Sakusa's turned up to see Atsumu standing in clear vision of his eyesight, a sad smile adorning his usually bright face.

"...Why did you find someone else? Why did you go find someone new?"

Sakusa hand dropped the phone as he stared wide-eyed at the fake blonde standing a good distance from him. Yet he could read his lips all the same, his chest aching with every word. "Kiyoomi, please be honest..."

**"Was I ever enough?"**


	3. I Can't Lose You Too

When Sakusa walked into the apartment that he and Atsumu shared, he stopped to take in the scene before him. The fake blonde sat at the dining table, a glass of coffee in hand. His eyes were a bloodshot red and the usual smile that he wore which annoyed Sakusa to no end was nowhere to be seen.

Sakusa froze in his tracks and stood there, staring at the man he was supposed to have been married to in the following month.

When Atsumu noticed, he simply nodded his head to the chair opposite to him. After a moment of hesitancy, he sat down at the table, remaining silent.

Sakusa wasn't able to say anything at the moment. He usually would have ignored Atsumu and slept in the guest bedroom, saying he was too tired to deal with Atsumu then. (But he didn't fail to notice that despite this, there was always a plate on the table in the morning and evening for Sakusa)

"...Kiyoomi."

Sakusa tensed up almost immediately, his heart thumping so loud in his chest that he wondered if Atsumu could hear it in that very moment.

Then he finally found the words.

Little did he know he would regret them for the rest of his life.

"If you think I'm going to apologize, then you're wasting your time. I gonna say this once so you better listen carefully.

I don't regret what I did. I did what I had to in order to save my mother and now that's she's fine, I don't need you anymore. You can walk out the door for all I care."

Once Sakusa finished his little speech, it was silent for a moment and Sakusa wondered if Atsumu would finally just snap at him and scream at him.

Instead, Atsumu stared at him for a moment before giving him a small smile.

"I had a feeling you'd say that." he said with a sad chuckle.

He stood up and walked to the kitchen counter and picked up a pile of papers that he hadn't noticed before. He walked back to Sakusa and placed the paper in front. Sakusa's eyes scanned the paper before he looked at Atsumu with a raised eyebrow.

"These papers will ensure that your family does not owe my family anything and that they are not obligated to follow their commands."

"..And why is it necessary that I sign this?"

"Because I'm breaking off the engagement." 

...

"Are you serious?"

"Yes Sakusa, I am."

It felt weird to hear Atsumu call him by that name. He had been called that all his life, but the moment he heard the name come out of he blonde's mouth it felt like his world just froze.

Atsumu sighed, "I knew, Sakusa."

"..What?"

"I known that this -thing- has been going on for a long time. I've known for months, Sakusa."

"Atsu-

I know that those late night meetings were just visits to the club to find your next hook-up. I know that all those notifiactions weren't just your office. I know that ever since your mom got better, you've avoided as much as you can. I've known everything when I heard you and 'Henry' were having the time of your life in our bedroom!"

Atsumu had tears in his eyes now as he looked at Sakusa with cold eyes. Sakusa felt a cold chill go down his spine. Sakusa felt a cold feeling pool in his guts.

"...Look, just sign the papers and I'll be out of here. My bags are packed and are right by the door.."

Sakusa flickered to the main entrance where he saw a two carry bags and a suitcase ready. 

"...and then you can go right back to fucking whoever you wanna every other weekend."

Things felt a little blurry after that point but Sakusa could clearly remember that the moment he saw Atsumu walk through the door, something in him snap. He pulled Atsumu by the shoulder and slammed him against the door, pinning his arms there. When Atsumu gasped, he pressed his lips against his, shoving his tongue inside.

Then he felt a sharp pain in his left cheek and he snapped back to reality. He looked up to see Atsumu covering his mouth, with tears in his eyes.

"...Fuck you, Sakusa. I loved you with everything I had and you broke my heart like it was all nothing to you."

He uncovered and took in a deep, shaking breath.

**"I hate you, Sakusa Kiyoomi."**

And with that, Atsumu slammed the door behind him as he left the place that they had called home for the past 2 years. And yet he didn't realize how much it meant to him.

He could feel tears running down his face, but he honestly couldn't bring himself to care.

He loved Atsumu.

He dropped to the floor, clutching his head.

He loves Atsumu Miya and he's a thousand years too late.

For years, he thought he would never be able to get rid of the piss-haired peat that stuck by his side no matter hat he put him through. And when he was about to walk right out of his life, all he could think was,

**'I can't lose him too.'**

Now look where that got him.

He stumbled his way into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of wine that Atsumu had bought for him on their Anniversary. 

He remembered that he had forgotten and when he woke up the next morning, he was in his bed, dressed in his night clothes while still reeking of alcohol with scratches on his back from the man he had spent the day fucking into a mattress instead of spending it with his adoring fiancé, who had spent the whole night waiting for him to come home.

Sakusa convinced himself that he pulled himself to bed. But Sakusa now realizes that all those nights he had come home drunk off his ass, it was Atsumu who had cared for him despite knowing that Sakusa lied to him every time.

It was Atsumu.

It was always Atsumu.

He let out a watery laugh as he gulped down the bottle of wine on his living room floor.

**"I can't believe I lost you too."**


	4. I Wish This Never Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atsumu knew that Sakusa loved. After all, the man had chosen him out of everyone he could have possibly dated, so he must love him.
> 
> ...Then why did Atsumu feel like crying?

"Hey Omi-kun~"

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that."

Atsumu chuckled as he made his way to his boyfriend, Sakusa Kiyoomi. He had been dating the man for 4 year since the end of high school.

He fell for Sakusa when they first met in the middle of their last year of Middle School and decided to ask him out. To his surprise, the man had said yes. The man did not agree so easily though, spouting out a list of things that the fake blonde would have to if he wanted to date Sakusa.

But Atsumu didn't mind it at the time, ecstatic at the fact that the mysophobic man had said yes to going out with.

When he told Osamu about this later that day, he brother simply frowned at him and told him to be careful. 

"You're too selfless for your own good."

That day, he had simply laughed at his brother's words, teasing him. His brother gave him a snarky comeback and turned away from hi to go too bed. But right before he had fallen asleep, Atsumu heard his twin say softly,

"I just don't wanna see you get hurt."

"Yeah, I just choose not to listen. And you know you love it~" Atsumu teased the dark-haired male, a slight smirk adorning his face.

"No, I don't. That's just your empty head talking again. Now leave me alone, I have to get to class." Sakusa said.

"I'll just walk you to class then head to my own." Atsumu said, cheerfully walking beside Sakusa with a grin on his face. 

"Absolutely not. I don't wanna have to deal with your dumbass more than I already do." Sakusa said coldly as he left Atsumu alone in the hallway, not once looking back.

As Atsumu stood in the empty hallway, his usual smile faltered and his vision became a bit blurry. He felt his chest ache, as though someone was squeezing it. Atsumu shook off the feeling and plastered on a smile making his way to his classroom.

'Omi-kun probably woke up on the wrong side of the bed, He doesn't mean that!' Atsumu thought too himself.

Atsumu knew that Sakusa loved. After all, the man had chosen him out of everyone he could have possibly dated, so he must love him.

**...Then why did Atsumu feel like crying?**

"What are you doing, ya idiot?"

Atsumu looked up to see his brother staring at him still dressed in his nightwear.

Atsumu smiled at him before turning his attention back to the pan he was holding, "I'm making breakfast! I found some pancake mix and decided to make them."

Osamu was silent for a moment before Atsumu heard the screeching of one of the chairs by the counter. 

"Try not to burn our food like last time." he said as he pulled out a magazine and began to flip through it.

"That was years ago!"

"Yeah, but you're still as clumsy as you were back then."

"Shut up."

They sat there in comfortable silence, both the twins continuing what they were doing until Osamu asked a question, breaking the the silence.

"What's got you in such a good mood? You're even wearing that stupid apron that mom usually wears."

Atsumu glance down at the apron he was wearing, the pink and frilly pattern being something that Atsumu would usually rather be dead than caught wearing. But Atsumu was too excited about that day to care.

"Today is me and Omi-kun's Anniversary! He said last week that he would take me out on a date, so yeah I guess I'm a bit happy." Atsumu said, a wide grin on his face.

"Oh." Osamu said, obviously displeased at the answer.

Atsumu sighed, "I still don't get why you don't like Omi-Omi."

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you're dating an asshole who treats you horribly." Osamu deadpans.

"Well, he's taking me out today. So that proves that he's not an asshole." Atsumu replies easily. "Now stop insulting my boyfriend or else I'm not gonna give you any of these pancakes."

"Oh no, how will I ever survive?" Osamu says sarcastically as rolling his eyes.

"Shut up, you love my pancakes."

"You're not wrong, that's why I have these delicious beauties."

Atsumu turned away from the stove to find Osamu stuffing his face with freshly made pancakes.

"Wait wha-" he looked at the kitchen counter where he had placed his plate of pancakes only to find it missing.

"How did you even get that?! I was standing right here, I should have been able to see coming from a mile away!"

Osamu shrugged, "Maybe you're just becoming blind. God knows you are when it comes to love."

"Stop insulting my love life and GIVE ME BACK MY PANCAKES!"

They had spent majority of that morning fighting for the pancakes until Atsumu gave up on trying to get back his pancakes and made enough for himself.

Atsumu wasn't lying when he said that he said that he was excited for the day. He had kicked Osamu out for the day, telling him to go hang out with Suna in the mean time. (He had no doubt Osamu would come back home with a limp in his step and a sore back) He took a shower and sanitized the entire house and put on his best outfit. He even kept the wine that he had bought his boyfriend carefully.

All that was left to do was wait! And wait he did..

And the entire day was wasted on waiting for Sakusa. He tried to call his boyfriend but it went straight to voicemail. He sent texts but all of them were left unread. He tried everything to get into contact with Sakusa, but no one had any clue where he went.

Then Sakusa came to his doorstep reeking of alcohol, blabbering about something that Atsumu was too worried to try and decipher at that moment, rushing to Sakusa's side.

"What happened, Omi-kun? You haven't answered any of my calls day. I was really worried when you didn't show up to our date."

Sakusa looked at him with unfocused eyes, mumbling an excuse about visiting his mother before pushing him away, passing out on the couch.

Atsumu sighed as he got outa spare change of clothes and helped Sakusa change into them before texting Komori who had been just as worried as Atsumu about his cousin. (He pretended not to notice the scratches on his boyfriend's back)

"Hey 'Samu, can I crash with you and Suna tonight? Omi-kun drunk again."

Atsumu had spent that night silently wondering what he had done to deserve this.

_("I'm gonna kill him, Rin."_

_"That's illegal, 'Samu."_

_"Don't you act like you're a saint. I can see those white knuckles of yours. You wanna beat him up as much as I do.")_

**_____________________________**

**'I wish this never happened.'**


	5. I Wish I Never Met You

"Wait, so you're back in town right now?"

Atsumu lets out a slight chuckle, "Yep! I'm heading to our apartment to surprise Kiyoomi right now, actually!" 

"Wait, you didn't even tell Sakusa that you were coming back?"

"Nope! I wanted to be romantic, I guess? I even booked a reservation at that fancy restaurant nearby that-"

"Are you crazy!? You should know by now that that bastard absolutely hates surprises."

"Hey, I told you to stop calling my fiancé a bastard."

"I still don't approve of this 'relationship', y'know. "

"Stop saying 'relationship'. It sounds like you don't you don't think I have a real relationship."

"Because I don't."

"Well that's too bad, because a year from now, I'll be engaged and officially a Sakusa so piss off."

"You're the one who called me."

"Well I've gotta go now, bye!"

"Take care, ya idiot. Bye."

Atsumu ended the call and smiled as he typed in the code to his apartment, a bouquet of flowers in his hand that he would give to Kiyoomi.

He had come home early from a trip and wanted to surprise his dear fiancé. He had booked a restaurant

"He's gonna be so surprised." Atsumu said to himself, slowly making his way into the living room which he saw was empty.

"Huh, that's strange."

Omi-kun wasn't the kind of person who would go to bed early. He always stayed up until at least 11:00. He would always be doing something, whether it watching volleyball matches on the TV, reading one the books that he had bought from the downtown library or just simply cleaning the house.

Then Atsumu heard noises coming from the guest room.

Without giving much of a second thought, he began to walk towards the guestroom before he heard an unfamiliar voice that made him stop in his tracks.

Atsumu just heard a stranger's voice come from his fiancé's room...

...and the voice had been moaning.

"Aaah~"

...

..No.

_'This can't be true. There's no way..'_

Kiyoomi may lie about where he is or come back home with scratches he doesn't remember seeing before.

But Kiyoomi would never cheat on him!

There had to be somebody else in that room. Some other couple who somehow got into their apartment and decided to that they should-

Atsumu heard another voice groan lowly and the creaking of the bed grew louder. He recognized the second voice as the one of his fiancé.

The man he was supposed to marry in 4 months.

Atsumu heard Kiyoomi groan out a name loudly (Later, when Atsumu was of more sound mind, his brain processes the name that had left Kiyoomi's mouth that night)

Atsumu doesn't realize until that moment that tears were running down his face, dripping onto the floor. He lightly wiped the tears off his face as he stared down the hallway where his fiancé stayed.

Then he turns right around and walk right out the door.

**And he ran.**

He ran as far away from the unforgiving truth that he had heard in his apartment. Away from the noises that came the place he was supposed to call home. Away from the moans and groans and creaking of a bed that confirmed a thought that he had been so desperate to ignore.

Atsumu's memories were a bit blurry after he began to run. He was only trusting his instinct at that point, his find still filled with the memory of the time he had seen marks and scratches on his dear fiancé.

Somehow, Atsumu found himself standing at the doorstep of Osamu and Suna's house, drenched from head to toe due the heavy rain that had followed shortly after Atsumu ran away. Because apparently Fate decided that they hadn't ruined his life enough.

"Atsumu? " Osamu said, a glint of worry visible in his grey eyes. "What are you doing here? I thought you and Sakusa were going out on a date tonight."

Atsumu stood there silently, his eyes downcast as he still tried to make sense of had he had just found out not barely 15 minutes ago.

Before he could stop himself, Atsumu felt tears running down his face as he realized what had just happened.

**_'Sakusa was cheating on him.'_ **

He was cheating on Atsumu had if Atsumu's past suspicions were right, then this had been going on for a lot longer than the past week he had been gone.

What did Atsumu do to deserve this? He had everything Sakusa asked of him. He never pushed his boundaries and he never asked questions. He trusted Sakusa with his life.

Osamu eyes eyes widened before his expression turned to something akin to sadness. He sighed and moved out of his way, an open invitation for him to come in.

Atsumu went in and sat on the couch without any hesitation, clutching one its cushions to his chest in a pathetic attempt to calm himself.

"'Samu, who was it- oh."

Atsumu looked to his side to see Suna standing there with a bowl of popcorn in hand. Atsumu realized that he was probably intruding on their date night.

"Sorry, I'm probably intruding on you guys. I can leave-"

"What movie do you wanna watch?"

Atsumu turned to look at Suna with raised eyebrows, still clutching the pillow close to his chest.

"What?"

Suna made his way to a small stand, opening a drawer where Atsumu could only assume was where they kept their remotes.

"What movie do you wanna watch? We've got a lot of subscriptions thanks your idiot of a brother-"

"I can hear you, y'know!"

Atsumu glanced to the side to see his brother in the kitchen making something.

"You gonna answer the question or not?" Suna said as he sat down next to Atsumu on the couch, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

Atsumu was quiet for a moment before his answered, "...Can we watch watch Men in Black?"

Suna gave him a small nod and before turning to the TV to search for the movie.

"...You know can talk to us, right? We're always gonna be here for you. We care about you, even if that asshole doesn't."

Atsumu doesn't answer but he does relax a bit, giving him a small smile before turning his attention back to the TV.

Osamu comes back with a plate full of freshly made onigiri and handed to it.

Atsumu spent the rest of the night finishing the plate, letting out small chuckles as the movie proceeded. He never did remember finishing the movie. But he does remember waking up the next morning on the couch with a warm blanket on top of him and a full plate on the kitchen counter with a note beside it.

Looking back on that day, it should have been obvious that Atsumu should have broken the engagement right then and there. But when you love someone for as long as he did, you make up excuses for that person's every action.

This was no different.

Atsumu had been so in love with Sakusa that he was willing to do anything to keep him by his side. Even if that meant denying the fact that the love that their engagement was built on was fake.

God, he wished he could travel to the past and change it, he thought a he sat on the park bench all by himself.

He wishes he could stop himself from seeing Sakusa in that very park before falling head over heels for the cruel and manipulating man.

He wishes that he wasn't the one in pain, despite the one breaking off the engagement. He wishes he still didn't love him even after everything that he put him through.

He looked up at the cloudy sky with eyes as he whispered his next words,

**"I wish I never met him."**


	6. I'll be Fine

Atsumu walked out of the apartment complex, tears flowing down his face as he struggled to wipe them. 

'How could he think that was okay?' Atsumu thought, walking down the road. 'Why the hell would Sakusa kiss him right after he broke off the engagement?'

He walked on and on until he reached his destination.

The building was old and ugly, a sore sight on the street full of well-lit clubs and restaurants. Most people ignore it, instead going into the strip club located right next to it. The same club where he had caught Kiyoomi with the brunette in his lap.

The exact same brunette whose apartment he was currently walking to.

.

.

.

After the conversation he had had with his brother that evening, he had built up the courage to confront Kiyoomi and break up with him. He had gone down to the strip club that Suna said Sakusa was at and was so ready to face Sakusa.

But when he saw the man that he had loved for so long kissing another man as he sat on his lap, all that courage disappeared just like that.

But he still wanted to talk to him. He still wanted to ask why. He wanted answers so desperately, it hurt. So he called him instead.

He watched as the Sakusa ignored his phone at first and only picked it up until the brunette on his lap convinced him to.

As they talked, the flickering light of hope that Atsumu had slowly died with every passing second and Atsumu wondered why he had ever believed that the man he was looking at that moment had ever loved him back.

After Sakusa stared at Atsumu in bewilderment, he ended the call and ran outside to the alley beside the club and slid down the wall as he clutched his mouth, trying to calm himself down.

Was he having a panic attack?

It was getting harder breathe and the noises round him started to blur together. His vision was starting to get blurry. Was it because of the tears? Was he blacking out? Was he about the faint?

And then he felt pair of hand softly clutch his shoulder and speak in a soothing and soft tone of voice. They pulled him to his chest and hummed a random lullaby that Atsumu didn't know. Nonetheless, it calmed him down until he was only letting out quiet sniffs.

He looked up to see who had been the one to save him.

His eyes widened as he recognized his savior as the man who had been sitting on his fiancé's lap when he had tried to confront him.

The brunette gave his a sad smile upon seeing his reaction. "I'm assuming you're Sakusa's boyfriend."

Atsumu was quiet for a moment before answering. 

"..He's my fiancé, actually."

The man moved away from Atsumu and sat right next to him. He turned to Atsumu with a small smile.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Atsumu then proceeded to tell the stranger that he had just met everything, stopping every few seconds to wipe away tears that ran down his face.

The brunette had sat there silent, listening to every word that Atsumu said. When he finally finished, the brunette looked at him before turning to stare up at the stars.

"Y'know, I kinda had a feeling that that guy was an asshole. I didn't know he was that big of an asshole though."

Atsumu stared at the brunette for a while before looking down again.

"Well, everyone at that bar now know he's an asshole so he ain't coming back here again, that's for sure."

Atsumu gave the brunette a curious look, "And how is that?"

The man smirked and turned to him, "I told the bartender at the bar to tell every person who bought a drink that Sakusa Kiyoomi was lying and cheating bastard."

Atsumu let out a surprised chuckle, "Wait, really?"

The brunette nodded with a small smile still on his face. "Pretty sure he's banned now."

Atsumu let out another giggle, "Why would you do that?"

The brunette sighed and looked away, "I'm by no means a saint of a man. Heck, I've done something that I don't ever expect to be forgiven. But I.."

Atsumu raised an eyebrow, telling him to continue.

"...I-I guess that I can't stand the thought of letting another person getting hurt. Not when I could do something about it."

Atsumu smiled at the brunette, "Heh, thanks for that. I guess he sort of had it coming."

"Sort of? I'm surprised he hasn't been hit by a truck at this point!"

Atsumu and his new companion laughed for a bit before slipping into comfortable silence.

"Hey, you wanna stay at my motel for the night? You probably don't wanna go home today..."

Atsumu was quiet for a moment before he answered, "No, not really.... But I think it's about time that I end this...I wanna get this over with as quick as possible"

The kind stranger stood up and helped Atsumu stand up as well.

He gave the faux blonde a smile as he held Atsumu's hand lightly, "Well, if you ever need a place to stay or just a ear to talk to, you should come to my place."

He handed Atsumu a white card, "Just ring the bell at the front desk and I'll be right there."

He was about to walk away before Atsumu called him, "Wait, I never got your name!"

The brunette gave Atsumu a bright grin and answered, "Tooru. Oikawa Tooru!"

Atsumu smiled at him back, "My names Atsumu. Miya Atsumu."

**_'And that, kids, was the story of how I met my best friend and your Uncle Tooru.'_ **


	7. I'll tell you everything

Atsumu nervously stood in front of the front desk as he rang the bell that rested on it. Soon enough, he heard footsteps and a cheery voice.

"Welcome to- Miya-kun?"

Atsumu gave him a wobbly smile, "Is it alright if I stay here tonight?"

Oikawa stood there a bit stunned for a moment before comprehending the scene before him. Atsumu was shivering from the wet clothes that covered him. His hair was an untidy mess and his eyes were bloodshot from what he could only assume were tears.

Oikawa gave him a soft smile, "How about you take a bath and I'll get you pair of warm clothes to change into."

Atsumu shyly nodded, "That'd be nice, thank you. But..."

"Hmm? Is something wrong?"

"I don't think your clothes would fit me..."

Oikawa chuckled, "I don't think that'll be the case. These are my work clothes so they are a bit tight but I have some oversized clothes that should fit you."

"Thank you..."

"No problem!" Oikawa said as he grinned walking around the desk, "Now you must be freezing so let's get you into a nice warm bath, alright?"

Atsumu nodded and kept his head down as he let the brunette lead him to his room.

Atsumu only knew Oikawa for a short amount of time, but for some weird reason he trusted him. Maybe it's the fact that he had known what to do to do calm him from his panic attack or maybe it's when he told Atsumu how he practically ruined any chance of Sakusa ever finding a hookup in that place again. He could still go to another club, but it still felt nice to know he'd be a little frustrated.

When they reached the room, Oikawa plucked out of key from his pocket and unlocked the door. When he pushed it open, Atsumu stared at the room before him. It was simple and had everything you expect to see in a hotel room. It wasn't like the hotel rooms had Atsumu had stayed before, those being much more ...'elegant' to be honest. But that was what Atsumu loved the most. It didn't feel like his home but it felt like home.

"You just take a bath or shower, whichever you want. I'll be back in a few minutes with clothes." Oikawa said with a warm smile before leaving the room, closing the door as he left.

.

.

.

Atsumu sat on his bed, now in a warm set of clothes that Oikawa had brought for him. Oikawa had sat net to him, near enough hat it was a comforting presence.

"...does anyone know you're here?"

Atsumu shook his head, "I kinda decided to come here on impulse."

"Well, I'm glad you felt like coming here on impulse. It's been like a ghost town here." Oikawa said, letting out a soft chuckle.

Atsumu looked at him a bit confused. Oikawa noticed this and clarified, "I usually don't let people have their fun time in my rooms. I don't wanna have to find cum on my sheets."

Atsumu had a feeling there was more to it than that but he decided to keep his mouth shut for now.

"I think you should let your brother know that you're here"

Atsumu hesitated before he spoke, "Should I?"

"He's probably worried sick about you." Oikawa said as he stood up, "And the last time you talked to him was when you found out that bastard was cheating on you."

Atsumu snorted, "Are you just gonna keep calling him 'that bastard'?"

Oikawa hummed, "Yup!"

Atsumu shook his head with an amused smile, "Alright, I'll call 'Samu."

"I'll leave the room so you guys can have your privacy, K?"

"Mhm, thank you."

"Call me if you need anything!" Okawa said as he left the room and gently closed the door.

Atsumu smiled to himself as he pulled out his phone. 'He sort of reminds me of one of those 'cool moms' from tv.'

*ring*

*ring*

*rin-*

*click*

"Hello?"

"Hey 'Samu."

"What happened? Where are you?"

Atsumu chuckled, "I'll tell you everything, I just don't feel like coming home right now."

"Okay.."

Atsumu then proceeded to tell Osamu everything that had transpired that day.


	8. I Know

*ring*

*ring*

*ring*

*ring-

"Hello?"

"Komori..."

"Kiyo? What happened? You usually never call me."

"...He left me."

Komori somehow understood what that meant. Maybe because he knew it was bound to happen.

"I'm coming over, Kiyo. I'll be there in 5."

.

.

.

Komori tapped in the code for the apartment and pulls the door gently. He looks inside and his eyes widens as he takes in the scene before him.

The apartment smelled horrible, and things were thrown everywhere. There were broken bottles and shards of glass on the floor and the walls had spill stains on them.

He walked in lightly, careful not to step on any of them. He notices that the guestroom's door was open and he pushed it lightly.

Sakusa was curled up in the corner, an empty wine bottle in hand that he clutched close to him. His hair was a mess and his eyes were red from crying, if the tearstains on his face were anything to go by. He was still dressed in clothes that he only wore outside, the sleeves pulled up to reveal red scratch marks.

Komori rushed to his cousins side, "Kiyoomi!"

Sakusa eyes lifted their gaze to glance at Komori before he broke down into tears. He clung onto the light brunet as he began to sob uncontrollably.

Komori looked at Sakusa with a sad look as he held him close to chest.

"H-he left me.."

Komori began to pat Sakusa's head as he listened quietly

"He's g-gone. H-he's never coming b-back."

Komori could only stay silent as he comforted the crying male.

Eventually Sakusa calmed down and let go of Komori only to slump against the wall, he eyes closed.

He had passed out from exhaustion.

Komori knew he couldn't anything but wait until the elder was ready to talk to him. He sighed and left the room, digging into his pocket. The light brunet pulled out his phone and called his long-term boyfriend.

"Hey Iizuna."

.

.

.

Iizuna had known the two cousins since they were in middle school and had grown up with them. The redhead knew how Sakusa was and knew how mean he could be sometimes.

Despite that, he stuck by them.

He was there to comfort them when Sakusa's mother had fallen ill and they received the news that the treatment would be too expensive for them to afford. He had held Komori as he sobbed into his shoulder.

But Sakusa had stood away from them. His eyes were blank and his fists were clenched.

"She doesn't deserve this..."

Iizuna eyes hardened as Komori had begun sob even more, "I know..."

It was around this time that Sakusa had turned even more cold. He pushed everyone away, snapping at anyone that tried to get close.

Then they met Atsumu...

The blonde had fallen for Sakusa fast and hard. He looked like a puppy, following Sakusa around everywhere yelling 'Omi'.

Sakusa had ignored it at first until they hear about the massive donation the Miya family had given the school.

"Woah, they must be loaded!" Komori said, eyes eyes wide with awe.

"Wait, isn't Atsumu last name Miya?" Iizuna asked.

"Woah, did you know this cuz?"

They both turned to looked at Sakusa who appeared to be lost in thought.

A few days later, it became big news that Atsumu had asked Sakusa out and the latter accepted.

Komori couldn't believe it and went to Sakusa to confront him about it.

The answer the other gave still rings in his head.

"Didn't you say Atsumu was the most annoying germ to ever live?"

"Yes, but he can help mom with the money problem."

Komori's eyes widened in horror as he realized what Sakusa did. It was then that he realized how much his cousin had changed.

He thought that it wouldn't last, it always was in the back of his head that Atsumu didn't deserve this.

But their relationship had continued on for a long time and they even got engaged.

Komori found out that Sakusa had been going to clubs whenever he felt tired and stressed out when he called Sakusa and when he answered, he heard a girl moaning. Komori had ended the call then and there.

'What happened to you, Kiyo?'

.

.

.

"Thanks for helping me clean up in here, Tsukasa." Komori said, giving his boyfriend a peck on the cheek.

Iizuna smiled, "No problem, love."

They heard a shuffle from behind them and looked to see Sakusa standing there, supporting himself using the wall.

Iizuna's eyes softened, "Hey there, Sakkun."

No matter what Sakusa had done, he's always have a soft spot for the younger.

Sakusa looked at Iizuna and then scanned the room.

Everything had fixed up and the stains he had made on the wall were gone. There were two black plastic bags by Komori's feet full of the broken shards of the bottles he had thrown in a rage.

"...Thank you."

Komori's eyes widened before they softened, an easy smile resting on his face, "No problem, cuz."

The light brunette sat down on the sofa and Iizuna glanced at the two before excusing himself and going to clean the other rooms.

Skusa stood still for a moment before he sat down on one of the individual sofa.

"...He knew."

_Komori remembered seeing the dull look in Atsumu's eyes when he visited._

"I know."

_"He knew everything and still stuck with me for so long."_

_He remembers how Atsumu would call him frantically, asking if he knew where his fiance was._

"I know."

Sakusa eyes glazed over, his hands were trembling, "We're divorced now."

_Komori remembers the phone call he got from Suna the previous day._

**_"You guys don't owe us anything, Atsumu made sure of that."_ **

"I know"

"I loved him..." He said, his voice shaking.

_Komori remembered the time he caught the other looking at Atsumu with what he could only define as fondness._

_He remembers how he'd, almost in a daze, reach for Atsumu when the pseudo blonde wasn't looking before catching himself._

_He remembers the time that he went to pick the other from yet another bar and hearing him whisper, "I miss him...I wish Atsumu was here..."_

"I know."

Sakusa looked at the floor, "I deserve this. I deserve to feel like crap. I deserve everything that has happened and more."

Komori gave Sakusa a sad smile,

**"I know."**


	9. I'll Try To Do That

Komori watched as the man before him, who never cried in front of anyone even when his mother died, broke down at the loss of a love he never realized he needed.

And Komori wasn't ashamed to say that Sakusa truly deserved it.

He just hoped the brunet would finally change and warm that cold heart of his now.

"You doing alright now?" Iizuna said, as he handed Sakusa a cup of tea.

Sakusa nodded, a tired look in his eyes. He didn't look completely fine, but he seemed to be feeling better.

"...What should I do now?"

Komori looked at him with a blank expression, "What do you wanna do now?"

Sakusa was silent for a moment before he made up his mind

"...I want to stop all this. I want to stop going to clubs and stop having these hookups. I want to become a better person."

"You know he's not gonna forgive for this, right? At least, he won't any time soon."

Sakusa nodded, "Even so, I just want to change. I have a feeling he wasn't the only person I hurt all this time."

Sakusa gave Komori and Iizuna a weak smile, "I'm sorry that it took my dumb ass this long to realize.."

Komori's eyes teared up and nearly jumped on Sakusa, "I'm glad you're back..."

Sakusa smiles, "Me too..."

.

.

.

Sakusa had gotten out of bed and made his way to the kitchen where he could hear the splash of cooking oil hitting the pan.

He turned at the corner and peeked in the room to see Atsumu humming along to a random tune in one of his shirts. He looked beautiful in the early morning light.

Sakusa had quietly made his way behind Atsumu and wrapped his arm loosely around his waist pressing his lips against the blonde's neck, "Hey love."

Atsumu chuckled, "Good morning sleepyhead~"

Sakusa looked over his shoulder, "What's that you're making?"

Atsumu hummed, "I'm making some bacons along with blueberry pancakes."

Atsumu was making his favourite. Sakusa felt his heart swell at that.

"Hey Atsumu?" Sakusa said as he nuzzled his head into Atsumu's back.

"Hmm?" Atsumu eyes remained on the the stove before him.

Sakusa looked up at Atsumu and smiled, "I love you."

Atsumu turned around pulled Sakusa off him with his eye's looking down, "Really?"

Sakusa was confused, "Yes. Of course I do."

Atsumu looked up with red-rimmed that blankly stared at him, "Then why did you hurt me Sakusa?"

"Wha-" Sakusa looked around the room to only find a black dark space surrounding them.

"Why did you break my heart?" Atsumu took a step towards him.

Sakusa's wanted to move but his feet felt like they were glued to the ground, "I-"

"Why did you do it Kiyoomi?"

"I didn't-"

"You hurt me Omi."

Sakusa felt tears running down his face, "I'm sorry."

Atsumu had finally stopped in front of him. He gently placed his hand on his shoulders and leaned near his ear.

_**"I fucking hate you."** _

.

.

Sakusa woke up in a cold sweat, frantically looking around his room.

"It was a dream..."

Sakusa felt onto his bed again and laughed.

"I'm so fucking pathetic."

Sakusa decided that since he was awake, he might as well have a midnight snack.

He got up made his way to the kitchen, the silence enveloping him. He switched on the light and rummaged through his fridge for a specific something.

'Where is it..."

"You looking for these?"

Sakusa turned around to see Iizuna holding an empty bottle of beer.

"Don't bother searching for the rest of them. Toya and I already threw them out."

Sakusa glared at him, "Why did you do that?"

"Because that's the first step to changing. Letting go of bad habits. You can't keep drinking away your stress."

"I was only gonna have a sip."

"You and I both know that's not true."

Iizuna looked at Sakusa and sighed, "Look, you said you wanted to become a better person, right?"

"...Yes." Sakusa sighed as he clutched his hair, "But I don't know where I should start."

Iizuna placed a gentle hand onto his shoulder and smiled, "That's your problem Kiyo. You always try to do thing by yourself and push away others in the process."

"But if you really want to change, you've gotta let us in." The redhead calmly bring the empty beer bottle in front of him, "Can you do that?"

Sakusa looked at the bottle for a moment before taking it in hand and throwing it in the trash, "Yeah.."

He gives Iizuna a soft smile, "I'll try to do that."

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe check my twitter @littleangevil ?


End file.
